Clubbing hasn't changed...or has it?

Hi All,

When you see something everyday, you often don't realise that things change.
Take my hamster for example. Actually don't, just leave him where he is, but I only realised how old and wrinkly and hairless he was getting when a friend of mine came round and asked me why I was keeping my bollocks in a cage and feeding them dried fruit.

Speaking of things that don't change, I decided to give clubbing another go. Now I should at this point give you a little bit of background. I fucking hate clubbing. The tunes are dull, repetitive and noisy and always have some woman shouting in them. I can't stand it. My idea of a good tune is something with down tuned electric guitars, drums and some blokes with enough hairspray, bleach and styling products to officially ban them from internal flights.

So, anyway, off I went into town to find where the beats were. I found a suitable venue got myself a drink and decided to go where the action was, down by the DJ. Man it was noisy. But it's not like Rock, or Heavy Metal where you get 4 minutes of intense ear shattering, bone vibrating noise and lyrics that make you wish you were smoking the joint of the man next to you. It's 4 hours of bass, and the kind of drum beat that sounds like a bloke with sleep apnea using a road drill.

I got to the front and I was trying to have a good time, I was jumping up and down and "pushing the ceiling" and all that crap, but the club atmosphere was still the same, some woman was screaming over the music; "Wooo!" "aaaaaah!", over the hideous and repetitive beat, I was being shoved around and people were shouting at me and all sorts. After about 15 mins, I got tired, and bored. The woman was still screaming, but I took a moment and realised it wasn't coming from the speakers. I looked down and there was this woman crying.

I shouted over the speakers "yeah, I know, I've come here to see if clubbing has changed too, it's boring, and loud but it's not that bad"

She looked up and through teary eyes she said to me

"It's not that *sniff* you've been jumping on my feet for the last 10 minutes"


Thanks for reading,