Friday, 9 April 2010

Marriage and Girlfriends

Hi all,

It's been awhile hasn't it? I've had a busy little life outside of this here blog recently what with one thing or another. One of things things was to get married.

Yes that's right, Trev is hitched.

No more dating for me, no more wierd women, no more odd girlfriends, no more playing the field. Ah well, what doesn't kill you makes you strong I suppose.

There are some strange women out there guys, some real wierdo's. Some are nuttier than a fruitcake, some are mental.
Let me take you back a few years to one of my strangest girlfriends. She was attractive and funny and quite good in her way, we went out for a while, and we got on quite well. Then the time came when she took me back to her place and to cut a long story short we ended up in her bedroom.

Awesome! I thought as we both ripped our clothes off. All my hard work has paid off! All that effort stalking her and going through her bins to see what music she liked and what films she was into and how much money she has, has been worth it.

It was when we hit the mattress that the problems started. You see, it was then that my eyes adjusted to the room. It was pink.
Very, very pink. Around the bed there was a pointless lacey thing that is only really suitable for beds in Africa.

Ok a bit girly, I thought, but then a problem arose. I won't ask you to picture the scene, I like to keep my dignity even in your warped imaginations. As I was "getting it on" I noticed a hundred beady eyes all watching me, all around me, every move I made was being observed by those cold shining eyes.
It put me off.

Well I say it put me off, if the words "put me off" equate to someone shouting "Arrrgh! The eyes!! THE EYES!!!" and jumping off the bed quicker than a homosexual with the shits. Of course she wondered what the problem was. She thought I was mental.
Apparently though standing there stark bollock naked, repeating the words "C-C-C-Carebear Stare" is not adequate proof that you aren't.

Thanks for reading,