Kids Stories, so how hard can it be?

Hi All,

I was sat reading some crappy kids stories the other night, when I thought..how difficult can it be to write a story for a 6-9 year old? So, here it is.

There was once a fairy princess.

Her name was Emily.

Well, she wanted to be called Emily, but her real name was Jessica

She had 3 legs, and one arm, which stuck vertically out of her head.

This made it very awkward to get her crown on in the mornings.

One day, she left the Castle in search of the Great Chicken, who had the power of seeing rhubarb at a great distance.

She knew he lived in the forest of Niggy Niggy Noo. Just past the old tree stump. On the A303.

She entered the dark, dank forest. She came out of the forest and went back in again, it was still dark and dank. It was an enchanted forest, that had the ability to induce amnesia in people. The local townsfolk who entered the forest often forgot where they parked.

She crept through the undergrowth. Her dress caught on twigs and brambles and badgers.

After a while she reached the old tree stump. There was a mushroom on it. Suddenly, the mushroom jumped up. It was a magic mushroom. And it said:

"OI! what is a fairy princess doing out here, in a forest, just off the A303?"

"I am a fairy princess," said the fairy princess

The mushroom stared at her. "Really?" it said.

"Yes and I am seeking the Great Chicken, who has the power to see rhubarb at a great distance. Now stop looking at me fungi"

"Blimey," said the magic mushroom, "Well he's over there, but he's asleep"

"Cheers mate" said the fairy princess and off she went. Dragging several bushes and a confused badger behind her.

She saw the Great Chicken. He was lying down, snoring.

"Yoohoo!" Said the fairy princess.

The Chicken didn't move.

"YOOHOO!!!" shouted the fairy princess.

The Chicken didn't move

"YO! DICKHEAD!"

The chicken jumped up

"Help me wok a noodle!" he screamed.

"terribly sorry old chap" said the fairy princess "But I need to find some rhubarb for tea."

"I'm afraid you've got the wrong chicken" said the Chicken, "the one you want is over there, I can't do anything right. I always get everything wrong."

"Fantastic" the fairy princess said. "I've walked all this way and I've found the wrong chicken, and he keeps putting himself down"

So she took the axe from her pocket and chopped his head off.

then she stuck him in the oven for an hour and a bit on gas mark 6. It turned out he was self depricating.

She tore the mushroom from the tree stump. Removed the great chicken out of the oven and ate him with the mushroom, as there was no cutlery available.

She went home to the castle. Smelling of chicken grease and badgers.

If you sniff carefully in a forest, around lunchtime, you can still smell the faint whiff of worried badgers. Often you will also find people who have forgotten where they have parked.

The End.

Thanks for reading