Hi All,
First up Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all. Now on with the diatribe....
It must be Christmas! You can tell just by watching telly, or listening to the radio for all those repeat hits from 30 odd years ago, or walking round your home town, looking at the absolutely pointless, useless, glittering, power-eating, half dead, pigeon-shit infested, glittery, building appendages, cunningly called "decorations" so that the council can be proud of them.
But, above all this it's the adverts isn't it? I'm not talking about the toy ones, although they can Fuck Off for all I care. No. I'm talking about those sodding charity adverts. Bollocks to them. I do have a favourite one though. Adopt a Tiger. Yes, I want some of that action! I want to ring them and say:
"Yes! I'd love to adopt a Tiger...donation? Yeah, put me down for a tenner, now....when are you going to deliver it?"
and just wait for their response.
Or there's that other one....Sponsor a Dog. Why? What the fuck is a dog going to do that I would want to sponsor it? Skydive? Actually that I'd pay to see, especially if it has spectacularly long ears. But you see my point. Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean that I am more likely to put my hand in my pocket. I'll give when I want to, to the causes I want to support. I don't need a guilt trip advert about some Pandas who have been abused. We know these Pandas are out there. We know they need help, and when I have a few quid I'll give some money, but I'm certainly not going to if 5 seperate fucking charities continue to force-feed me guilt-trips in the middle of "Blackadders Christmas Carol".
So I'll give these charities a tip, free of charge. Stuff your ads up your arse until after Christmas when everyone is bloated with pies, and have had enough of presents. Then ask them for cash and presents that they don't want so you can sell them on Ebay or something.
Actually, here is a better plan. A new governmental fund. It is completely up to you whether you donate or not. When you donate it goes into a big box that is only used for charities. Then the government can jolly out the money to the most needy causes. That way we only have 1 charity for looking after kids, 1 for animals, 1 for homeless people and maybe one for the elderly. Any other countries problems can come last in my book. Charity begins at home. And that's how it should be.
Anyway, thanks for reading and have a very Merry Christmas!
1 comment:
You have outraged my morales!
There are children, in rural India, who have never even heard of christmas, let alone known the joy of a mince pie!
And what about those poor dolphins? It's all reindeer in December, but the dolphin plight continues... Why can't they be included in the festivities?!
People like you should be lined up and shot, it makes me so angry when i hear that others have no idea what others are doing at christmas and stuff.
I believe you should donate to the 'make Yao smarterer charidee'. It's an underfunded aid program to provide one our of our nations most beloved society members with some wit, thus releiving him of the reliance on sarcasm. You can't deny that's a worthy cause!
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