Cats, why are they here?

Hi All,

Not content with finding out why we are here, I have expanded my horizons to ask the burning question on nobody's lips....Why are cats here?

Ok, they are fairly cool, they are friendly, fluffy and generally make us happy. There are even websites dedicated to those furry friends of ours, pictures taken by their owners that are cute and funny and what not, but why are they here?

I like cats. Always have. I even had one when I was little. He was great fun. But now I've grown up. I have a small garden, with an even smaller veggie patch for my own amusement. But why is it that all the cats in the area where I live insist on filling it with crap? It seems like the only thing that these cats are here for. Crapping on my sodding lawn! WHY?

There are people who are going to say "They are marking their territory". Well to them I say
"Shall I crap in the street then? It's my territory, shall I crap in your garden? its just as much my territory as my garden is to your sodding cats!"

Crapping in my garden I can just about understand, the cats I mean. But why, why crap in my veggie patch? My poor lettuces were shat on then dug up. They crawled underneath my plastic cover and crapped in there, they crapped on my carrots, they crapped on my garden fork, in fact anything to do with me trying to be pro-active and green they have crapped on.

I'm just glad I don't have a Prius, they'd probably take great care in crapping on that. So I guess that's why they are here. To crap on things. Little furry, meat eating, shit machines. The only advantage to me that I can see is that they eat pigeons. That way they save my veggies from being eaten so the bloody cats can shit all over them later.

Thanks for reading.