Biscuit? Yeah, why not?

Hi all,

I am not fat. I am one of these annoying gits who can eat just about any amount of anything greasy and stay thin. My partner says this is particularly annoying, as she has to "watch what she eats"

What she doesn't know is that I also have to watch what I eat...and to be honest, seeing the eighth big mac enter my body is not necessarily a pleasant thing to see.
And this brings me neatly on to biscuits...

I am to biscuit barrels, as Harold Shipman was to old peoples homes. I eat a *large* amount of biscuits. It's not their fault that I enjoy their sugary goodness. I have often found myself munching my way through 2 packets of bourbons, or their albino cousin the custard cream.
I do not mourn for them, that would be silly. But I am trying to rid the world of biscuits, as a one man army. I am attempting biscuit-icide on my own.

If any of you have been down to a supermarket and there are no biscuits, you know who to blame. I once went off them for a week and ASDA had to drop their profit declaration to their share holders.

I'm off now to Tesco's where they pride themselves on their biscuit selection boxes.

Thanks for reading!